Partner’s Guide to Supporting a Birthing Person
Birth is a team effort. Even though the birthing person is the one experiencing contractions, your presence as a partner can shape the entire atmosphere of the birth room. The way you touch, speak, and protect the space can help them feel safe, grounded, and supported, which can positively influence the flow of labour. You do not need to know everything about birth to be a great support person. What matters most is your willingness to show up fully, stay present, and respond to their needs in the moment.
1. Learn the Birth Plan Together
Before labour begins, take time to understand your partner’s preferences for birth, from comfort measures to medical options. That way, if they are too focused to speak up, you can help communicate their wishes.
Review their birth preferences together
Discuss how they want to handle unexpected changes
Learn what comfort measures work best for them
2. Be the Guardian of the Space
Birth unfolds best in an environment that feels private, safe, and calm. You can help protect that environment by:
Keeping voices low and lights soft
Minimising unnecessary interruptions
Managing who comes in and out of the room
3. Offer Physical Comfort
Touch is a powerful tool during labour. Some partners find that offering physical comfort keeps them actively involved:
Applying counterpressure on the lower back
Offering massage, hand-holding, or gentle stroking
Bringing cool cloths or sips of water between contractions
4. Support Their Emotional Flow
Birth can bring moments of vulnerability. Your calm, encouraging presence can help your partner feel safe to move through whatever arises.
Speak in steady, reassuring tones
Avoid too many questions mid-contraction
Remind them of their strength and progress
5. Stay Grounded Yourself
Your energy affects theirs.
Take slow breaths alongside them, perhaps even try counting rhythmically from 1-10 during contractions
Eat, drink, and move when you can
Step outside briefly if you need to reset, rather than letting overwhelm spill into the room
6. Stay Flexible
Birth can be unpredictable. Being a supportive partner does not mean making sure everything goes to plan, it means adapting to whatever comes.
Be ready for changes in setting or approach
Focus on what helps in the moment
Celebrate their strength, no matter how the birth unfolds
Where I Fit In as Your Doula
As your doula, I am not there to replace the birth partner, I am there to support both of you. I can guide you through hands-on comfort techniques, help you feel confident in your role, and offer reminders in the moment so you are never left wondering what to do next.
My goal is for the partner to feel just as prepared, supported, and empowered as the birthing person, so you can truly be a team when it matters most.
If you are preparing for birth and want to feel confident in your role as a partner, let’s talk.
Practical sessions where we go through comfort measures, advocacy tips, and ways to keep the birth space calm and safe for both of you are all woven into my doula packages.
